How to Make Kids Like You: One Big Way (and Three Super Simple Tricks)

Laura Raphael

How do you “make” kids like you? Like, really, really like you?

I love asking my children’s staff this question, and I’m always fascinated to hear the answers, which both vary and fall in predictable line.

Invariably, what seasoned children’s librarians say is that the one big way to get kids to like you is obvious but necessary: you treat them like people who matter. You ask them questions and then really listen to their answers. You pay attention to what they like and don’t like. You match your emotional tone to theirs.

This can look different for different kids, of course, but in general, if a child is hiding behind their parent’s legs, you don’t yell, “Hello! What is YOUR name?” Conversely, if a child starts talking about aliens, don’t clam up!

Treating kids like full human beings (which they are) is an absolute must, so put that attitude in place first.

Then use these three simple tricks, and kids will be your biggest fans:

1. Comment on their shoes. Honestly, this works for kids AND many adults because shoes can say a lot about a person! It can be something as simple as a descriptive, “Wow, there are little purple stripes that go from here to here” to a more complimentary, “What I would give for such sparkly shoes!”
2. Ask the magic question: “Do you have a pet?” (Follow-up, if the answer is no: “What kind of pet would you want if you could have a pet?”) Our connection to animals—real and imagined—runs deep.
3. Offer a sticker or hand stamp. Simple magic, every time. My favorite moments were at outreach events or even just out at dinner near my library, when a little one recognized me. Zip, zap, zop, I’d pull out the stamp and ink pad from my purse and my new friends went away with a smile and a star on their hands.